The Inner World of the Introvert

You know those documentaries on the Discovery Channel? The ones about grizzly bears or great whites? They have gorgeous photos, stunning footage, and are narrated by a someone with a great voice. Maybe Morgan Freeman, James Earl Jones, or someone with a British accent. Now imagine with me a documentary on the introvert:

[Insert voice of choice]

“The introvert. One of most interesting, yet confusing creatures to walk the earth. They are often misunderstood by others in their natural environment. Introverts are sometimes labeled as shy, timid, withdrawn, loners, or even party-poopers by their counterpart, the extravert.”

Everyone is born with/develops certain personality tendencies. We each have both introvert and extravert tendencies, though one is often stronger than the other. This part of your personality determines where you draw your energy. Extraverts receive energy from the outer world, being around others. Introverts receive energy from the inner world, spending time in reflection.

Let’s return to the documentary:

“After a long day of being with others the introvert seeks solitude. She’s with a group of extraverts on the beach. Notice how she slips away from the crowd. Now watch closely. The others call out to her, asking her to rejoin them. She politely declines, preferring to walk along the water and collect her thoughts, drawing energy from the moments of seclusion. Though the others may see her as an outsider when she withdraws, she is content to walk in silent reflection, refueling from a long day, before rejoining them.”

Sometimes introversion seen as something to be ashamed of, a weakness, something that you need help for.

“My name is Jennifer. And I am an introvert.”

However, over the last months (Group Counselling & Career Counselling courses) I have come to not only accept but delight in my introversion.

Being an introvert means you come built with a set of strengths. We are more likely to:

• Think, then speak, then think
• Excel one-on-one with others
• Consider and think deeply
• Be calm and reserved
• Work well autonomously
• Seek out other's opinions
• Working in a quiet, encouraging, non-threatening style

It also means we face some challenges. Introverts are more likely to:

• Guard their thoughts until they are (almost) perfect
• Stay in the background
• Hesitate to offer personal information
• Be overly serious
• Not deliver tough messages when appropriate

Now to all you extroverts out there, don’t think I’m forgetting about you. This post is not intended support the notion that introverts are better than extraverts. On the contrary most of my life I would have given almost anything to be like you: outgoing, bubbly, full of energy, life of the party. And today there are still many things I admire about you.

However, I have come to like myself. It sounds silly to say that, but this is something I have struggled with most of my life and I’m guessing I’m not alone. Comparing ourselves to others is a 21 century pandemic, sweeping the globe, leaving few untouched. Tangled in the lies of the media and the devil my eyes have grown cold and critical when turned on myself. Everyday I battle against the voices in my head that tell me I’m not outgoing enough, pretty enough, or good enough. So you can imagine how amazing it feels to be able to say those words and actually (most of the time) mean them: I like myself—introversion included!!

So, to my extraverted friends, keep being your extraverted selves because we love you for it! And when we introverts draw away for some time on our own don't be overly concerned. We're just taking care of ourselves.

And to all my fellow introverts, do not let anyone, yourself especially, tell you that your introversion is something to be ashamed of or wished away. We are different than our extraverted friends, but we bring a different set of strengths to the table, a unique balance to the world. Also, be aware of the challenges that accompany our strengths. Do not let your introversion be used as an excuse to withdraw or miss out on great times with others.

Consider what the next steps in your own journey to like yourself might entail. And then join me in my new anthem:

“I LIKE MYSELF!!!!”

Reference: Hirsh, E., Hirsh, K. W., & Hirsh, S. K. (2003). “Introduction to type and teams." Mountain View, CA: CCP, Inc.